Secret Diary
by lillybet88
Summary: Curiosity killed the cat, but not Severus Snape. When he finds a diary, all manner of secrets come spilling out! Rated M for adult scenes.


Disclaimer: All characters belong to J., I'm just borrowing them!

"That is all for today class. I want your essays on the properties of the bezoar in on Friday morning. And Miss Granger, I will need your assistance with some brewing after dinner".

"Yes sir"

Scraping benches and muted conversation filled the dungeon classroom after the first year's dismissal. Severus Snape was cleaning his blackboard when he heard stacks of books fall to the floor, followed by a sharp "Excuse me!" He turned to see Hermione Granger, his apprentice, duck down to collect her fallen books. He would have collared the culprit had they not been swept through the door by the tide of students.

Finished tidying, Snape swept through the deserted classroom to make sure everything was in place. Approaching the door, he noticed a tattered workbook lying on the ground. 'This must belong to Miss Granger' he thought, and he picked it up intending to give it to her later that evening.

Upon entering his study, Snape immediately headed for his liquor cabinet. He allowed himself a measure after classes, particularly if they were first years like that afternoon. There is nothing better than a glass of Firewhisky to help you unwind, after spending a day clearing up exploded cauldrons.

Taking a seat behind his desk, ready to grade his third year essays, Snape remembered the book he picked up. Now most people wouldn't think to read through someone else's things, but Snape was a man who thought otherwise. Turning the book over in his hands, the initials H.G. were written on the front, and it was very worn, as if the owner had had it for years.

Now Snape knew enough about Miss Granger to know that she kept all of her belongings in pristine condition. Indeed, he had never seen her with any old books apart from those she checked out of the Library. 'What on earth would she be doing with this?' he wondered.

Lack of morals and growing curiosity, Snape was compelled to find out what was inside. He tried to open it, but it was stuck fast, as if it had an invisible lock on it. Definitely intrigued, Snape speculated what Miss Granger wanted to hide so desperately.

A few quick spells later, and the book was open. But it wasn't an ordinary book as he suspected, it was a diary camouflaged by the covers. Looking to wile away the time before dinner began, Snape settled back in his chair and read the first entry.

_Dear Dairy,_

Hogwarts is amazing! There are so many fantastic things here. The Great Hall is huge, and the ceiling is bewitched to look like the sky outside. There are so many corridors and staircases it's hard not to get lost. And the Library! I've never seen so many books; I can't wait to have a proper look around. I'm really excited about my classes. The older children say that it's really difficult, but I'm sure I will do well. All of the spells I've tried have worked perfectly so far, I can only get better.

Snape nearly laughed out loud. Even as an eleven year old Miss Granger was a bookworm, and so ambitious. He flicked through the pages, hoping to find some secret that he could tease her with. Not in a spiteful way, it would just amuse him to have some dirt on the know it all Gryffindor.

_Dear Diary,_

_One of these days Harry and Ron are going to get me in terrible trouble. Since I've been friends with them I've met a giant three headed dog, had to go into the Dark Forest at night, and now they think that Professor Snape is trying to steal the philosophers stone. I don't believe for a second that Professor Snape would do such a thing. He is rather a nasty teacher, always taking house points and giving detentions. But he is so clever; he knows so much about potions and ingredients. And he's brilliant at brewing them as well. He's got a voice that could make you wobble like jelly or freeze your insides. He is a teacher to be respected._

Snape's eyebrows rose in astonishment. Not many first years are very observant, or so genuine in their feelings. He believed Miss Granger was genuine, even at that young age, she was too naïve and honest to be anything else. His interest increased, Snape read on.

_Dear Diary,_

_Gilderoy Lockheart is the new defence against the dark arts teacher! I can't believe he's here; he's so handsome and charming. I can't help crushing on him a little. He's not a very good teacher, but I can hardly concentrate on his lessons anyway._

_Diary,_

_We think Malfoy may be the heir of Slytherin, so tonight we will take polyjuice potion and interrogate him. It's such an achievement to brew it, it is really complicated, but I managed it. If Professor Snape knew I'm sure he would be impressed._

This time Snape did laugh out loud. He remembered Lockheart well, along with the doe eyed girls who followed in his wake. He would never have thought that Miss Granger would be shallow enough to go for a wizard based on looks. But then again, the only wizards he has seen her with were Krum and that idiot Weasley. 'What am I doing, thinking about the private life of my apprentice?' he scolded himself.

'Polyjuice potion in second year? So that's why I had missing ingredients. I am impressed though, not even a seventh year could brew that'. But Miss Granger had brewed it illegally; maybe this would give him the perfect opportunity to taunt the Gryffindor. Checking the clock, he still had some time before dinner began, so he treated himself to another Firewhisky and continued to read.

_Dear Diary,_

_I think Professor Lupin is a werewolf. I recognised the symptoms after Snape took his lesson. Ill once a month, and his boggart changed into the moon. I don't know if Snape did the lesson on purpose, I wouldn't put it past him. He is so horrible, especially to Harry, Ron and me. I try my best to impress him but all he does is make hurtful remarks. I wish for once he would just say 'Well done'._

A smirk crept upon Snape's face at the memory. He had hoped someone would put two and two together; he wasn't surprised it was Miss Granger. He felt slightly uneasy though. His teaching method was to be nasty to the students, use scare tactics so they wouldn't make mistakes. When they didn't make mistakes he didn't feel inclined to give them praise. But in Miss Granger's case, perhaps he should have been encouraging her. After all, she is a very talented young woman. 'Young woman? She's barley older than a child!' he reprimanded himself. Snape was getting more inquisitive by the second.

_Diary,_

_I feel so guilty. Harry and I knocked out Professor Snape and helped Sirius Black escape! But Snape must be tough, because he wasn't out for long, and he protected us from Professor Lupin who had transformed into a werewolf. Snape is really muscular; I couldn't help noticing the strength in his arms as he shielded us from Lupin. The way Snape acts it's as if he hates us, but then he does something like save our lives. I'm so confused._

Snape remembered that night well, and had protected the trio saying they had been confounded; he almost forgave them for knocking him out. He suspected that they had had something to do with Blacks escape, and considered for a moment to inform Headmistress McGonagall. But no, what good would it do? Black was dead, it would only cause more trouble.

A touch of pride and a small smile crept upon Snapes face when he read Miss Granger had noticed how strong he was. Of course he had a well-toned body, left over from his days as a DeathEater and spy. He kept it hidden under all his layers of robes as a surprise for any witch who engaged him. 'This diary is very revealing. I wonder what else I can find out about little miss not so perfect'.

_Dear Diary,_

_I was having such a good time at the Yule ball until Ron ruined everything. Viktor and I were getting 'friendly', and Ron started getting jealous. If he was so bothered about it he should have asked me to go with him first, but he's too much of an ass. I sometimes wonder why I put up with him._

It seemed to Snape that Miss Granger had begun to experience boys at an early age, though he could only imagine what she got up to on that night. Snape paused, mentally scolding himself. He shouldn't be thinking about a student in that kind of situation, let alone Miss Granger. Though he dragged his mind out of the gutter, he couldn't stop the stirring in his groin. Ignoring his body's urges, he continued to read what was becoming a very interesting book.

_Voldemort's back, and he killed Cedric Diggory. I'm glad Harry is okay, but it feels like everything has changed. It's as if we all know that today could be our last day, but we are too frightened to say anything. I've never felt so terrified._

Snapes chest tightened, he didn't want to remember what a terrible time that was. The fear and uncertainty when he realised that his former master had returned. Even he had been scared at the thought of going back into the inner circle as a spy for the order. But Snape was shocked by how fearful Miss Granger had been. He had never once seen her frightened, but here in these pages she was expressing her worst fears. In that respect he could sympathise with her, both of them hiding their true feelings from those around them. As Snape read on, more about Miss Grangers fears were revealed.

_Diary,_

_Owl year, being a prefect and that fowl Umbridge woman is making me go mad. I have so much work to do; yet it all seems insignificant compared to the threat of Voldemort being out there. I think that Snape has turned spy against the DeathEaters to help the order, risking his life for the safety of wizard kind. With his cold exterior I wouldn't have believed he would be capable of such a thing. The man has feelings, and even though he'll never know, I appreciate him and everything he is sacrificing._

Snape nearly chocked on his Firewhisky. It was a shock to read that Miss Granger gave two sickles about him. He shook his head; it wasn't as if she had a crush on him, (how could she?). It must be hero worship. She knew that he risked his life every time he went to the DeathEater meetings, and she felt obliged to at least appreciate it, even though she never said anything out loud. Though as Snape carried on flicking through the pages, a small part of himself wondered if there was something more to Miss Grangers 'appreciation'.

_Smoke filled room,_

_Gazing through the haze_

_I get your attention._

_Heat filled eyes_

_Coming closer to me,_

_Followed by your lips._

_Kisses of fire_

_Are burning my skin_

_But I want more._

_Skin on skin,_

_Heart next to heart,_

_I can't get enough._

_I wake suddenly,_

_Heart beating so fast,_

_Just another forbidden fantasy._

'Miss Granger, a closet poet?' Snape thought. The only reason this caught his eye was the fact that it was very suggestive. Of course, at the age Miss Granger was, she would have begun to get sexual urges, even 'fantasies'. But what Snape wondered was who it was. The setting being a 'smoke filled room', Snape thought for only a second that it could be him. Rapidly dismissing the idea, but not so easily dismissing his hardening member, Snape read on.

_Dear Diary,_

_I realise that using you as an extension of myself seems a little childish at my age. A young woman should be capable to keep her thoughts and feelings controlled. But you have been a great friend to me in my times of need. As this may be the last time my quill touches your pages, I am compelled to tell you my secrets. My life seems so insignificant when I think of all the work other people are doing. It is clear now that we are in a war, but I feel defeated before we even start. Everyone is busy making plans, raising support and just fighting in general. But we've been set the most impossible task, and no one can tell us what to do or give us any clues. I feel I am on my own, though I will keep fighting. Not for wizard kind, but for one man. It has been many years, and though I have known it almost from the beginning, I was scared to admit it. I am in love, and always have been, with Severus Snape. It is unbelievable, I know, but I can understand that all the terrible things he has suffered in his life have made him a twisted and bitter man. Yet I believe he still has good in him, and if ever the moment comes, I hope that he realises there are people in this world who appreciate him. If this is the last time I see your pages, at least I have left some kind of legend. _

Snape was stunned. Miss Granger must have written this just before the final battle. She was in love with him? He couldn't believe it. He wouldn't believe it. She thought she was going to die, of course she would write the first thing that came to her head. Even now, nearly a year after, she couldn't possibly love him. He was such an embittered and twisted man; he wasn't worthy of love from anyone, especially not from someone as young, talented and beautiful as Miss Granger. 'Did I say beautiful? I meant…'

But Snape did mean beautiful. For months now he had begun to see Miss Granger in a new light, but he never expressed this to her. It was probably due to spending so much time with her, at first it was a reluctant respect for the witch, then it became an agreeable working relationship. He had become accustomed to having her around, and though they never spoke to each other on a personal level, they did enjoy discussing the latest discoveries or brewing techniques. He had sometimes watched her brewing whilst pretending to mark papers. Not thinking of her in a sexual way, just wondering why she chose to be his apprentice, she is extremely talented in nearly all fields of magic. Flicking to the last page, he found another poem, and looked quiet recent.

_Darkness surrounds me,_

_Though I'm filled with light._

_Sadness and joy at the memories,_

_Pain and relief haunted me every night._

_Each time I watched you go_

_I was sad you couldn't stay._

_Pain came from the anguish_

_Until I saw you the next day._

_Joy filled my heart_

_When I saw you safe and sound,_

_And I was relieved for a time_

_Until the next call came around._

_You made your choice long ago, _

_And you're still paying the price._

_One time you did feel love_

_But you won't take the pain twice._

_I can give you what you long for,_

_What your withered heart needs,_

_Someone to heal you, body and soul,_

_Like water and sunlight to newly sown seeds._

_Why do you waste your life?_

_Why don't you fight?_

_For the love you lost? My love you can gain._

_Your darkness just needs my light._

If Miss Granger was in love with Snape, why hadn't he noticed? Sure, he had caught her a few times watching him, but there was no fluttering of eyelashes or getting tongue-tied. Sometimes she would shy away when he came near her, but he put that down to her not wanting to be around him. In all the months Miss Granger had been his apprentice, he hadn't got to know her personally, but now he knew so much from reading her diary.

Snape finally closed the book and placed it on his desk. Now that the shock of his discovery had ebbed away, a new question popped into his head. 'What do I do?' He wasn't in love with her, though she was attractive. He had a glimpse of them sharing a bed, and wouldn't mind spending some quality time together. After all, there were no rules about getting involved with your apprentice.

But was he ready to have that kind of relationship? He had never really had a proper relationship with any witch. It was always a quick visit to the young witches at Knocturn Alley, then a long shower when he returned. But Hermione was his intellectual equal, someone he could share long conversations with without dozing off in boredom. Could he trust her enough and let her into his old and withered heart? It was a woman who had started him on his downward spiral into oblivion after all.

"I wish I never knew!" Snape shouted, and slammed his fist down onto his desk, causing the young woman opposite to jump. He looked up into the concerned face of Hermione Granger.

"Miss Granger! What are you doing here?" Snape asked in a surprised voice.

"Sorry sir, but you weren't at dinner. Are you alright?" Hermione replied as a slight blush crept up her cheeks.

Hermione was getting quite uncomfortable as she stood before the potions master. He was silent, and the way he was looking at her seemed as if he was trying to look straight through her. She built up her courage to say something.

"Professor, are you feeling alright?" she asked quietly and taking a step closer.

"Yes, I'm fine. Could you go to the lab and begin brewing a blood-replenishing potion for the Hospital wing? I will be with you shortly" Snape replied, finally coming to his senses.

"Right, I'll get started then" Hermione said, and she headed for the lab.

Snape was sat completely still and hardly breathing. How was it that now he knew how Miss Granger felt, he didn't know how to act around her? He was beginning to think about forgetting what he had read, but the only way he could do that was to obliviate himself. After a moment's deliberation, he decided that he would slake his curiosity and try and engage Hermione. The worst that could happen is that she refuses him, but he was used to being denied the things he wanted. Finally ready, Snape followed her through the door into the lab, picking up her diary as he left.

Hermione had already set up her cauldron and was getting the ingredients prepared by the time Snape walked in. He grabbed another cauldron and set it up across the table from her. The two worked in silence for quiet some time.

Soon the room was full of the sound of the bubbling cauldrons, and the quiet thud of knives on the chopping blocks. Snape looked up across the table to see Hermione watching him, and he decided to play a little game with the witch.

"Do you know how to brew polyjuice potion, Miss Granger?" asked Snape, setting down his knife on the chopping block and staring intently at her.

"I've read about it," replied Hermione carefully, her suspicions raised.

"But can you brew it?" he asked again, his black eyes never leaving her brown ones.

"I could certainly try"

"No second year would be talented enough to complete it, that's for sure. Except you. It is a great achievement for one so young to accomplish so much"

Hermione paused in her stirring, and looked up at the dark wizard. He had somehow found out about her illegal potion brewing, but how? She decided to give in and see where this conversation led.

"Thank you sir" she said, and continued with the potion.

"So you did brew it?" he asked with raised eyebrows.

"Yes, I did. Like you said, it is a great accomplishment, one that I am proud to acknowledge. After all, it was many years ago, my skills could only have improved. Do you agree Professor?" she asked, giving him a cheeky grin.

"Yes I do" he replied quietly, and Hermione could have sworn he gave her a little smile in return.

The pair continued with their potion making in silence, occasionally glancing up at one another. After a few more fleeting looks, Snape decided that he would try and find out exactly how Hermione felt about him.

"Smoke filled room, gazing through the haze, I get your attention" Snape said barely above a whisper.

Hermione dropped her stirring rod and looked up at him in terror. "What did you say?" she gasped.

"It's just a poem I read. Perhaps you know it?" he answered, once more fixing her with a penetrating gaze.

Hermione couldn't say anything, she was terrified, and so she bent low over her cauldron to check on its contents. 'How does he know?' she thought frantically. She was so distracted by her thoughts that she didn't notice Snape move round the table and stand close behind her until it was too late. Her breathing became quicker, and she tried to ignored him.

"Is anything the matter, Miss Granger?" he asked, his breath tickling her ear and causing her to tremble.

"No professor" she managed to squeak out. Looking anywhere but him she checked on her potion again, and seeing that it was nearly done, she gathered up her ingredients and hurried to the storeroom.

Hermione was reaching up to return an ingredient to a higher shelf, and didn't hear Snape come in. She almost dropped it as Snapes arm reached up, his fingers lightly brushing the back of her hand and took it out of her grasp to place it on the shelf. She slowly turned around to face him, looking up into his pale face and glittering black eyes. They were standing inches apart, her breathing sped up once more and she could feel the heat radiating from him.

"Thank you sir" she breathed, unable to think of anything else apart from how close they were.

"You're welcome, Miss Granger" he replied with a smirk, then turned and left a very confused and slightly aroused Hermione to finish tidying away.

Hermione stood there for a few moments trying to catch her breath. So many of her fantasies had started this way, for a moment she thought that it might come true. But then she began to question exactly what was going on. 'Why is Snape acting so strange?' she asked her self. Had he found out how she felt? No, he couldn't possibly know, but she couldn't shake the feeling that Snape was up to something.

She returned to the lab to find Snape bottling their potions, so she stepped forward and began to put the cauldrons and other equipment away. Just as she had finished and was ready to leave, Snape suddenly spoke.

"Miss Granger, I think this belongs to you," he said, holding up the diary that posed as a workbook.

Hermione just stood there staring at him as if she had been petrified.

"Is this yours?" he asked once more.

"Yes sir. Where did you get it?" she stammered, still shocked and slightly terrified. She figured that he had read it, and that's why he had been acting strange all night. There was a moments silence as each of them stared at one another, until it was broken by Hermiones quaking voice.

"Have you read it?" she blurted out.

"How does the expression go? Finders' keepers I believe. It was lying around, and curious to know whom it belonged to, I read it," he answered, a wicked smirk gracing his thin lips.

"All of it?" she whispered,

"Every word", he replied just as quietly, and slowly walking toward her.

"You had no right, that's private" she shot at him, sounding braver than she felt.

"Miss Granger, I had every right. It was in my classroom, and I wanted to find out who owned it. I must say, it is very _revealing_" he sneered.

Snape was now stood in front of her, arms folded across his chest, enjoying watching the young witch before him being speechless for a change. Hermione was breathing heavily, still quiet until she came to her senses.

"It's getting late. I need to go," she said, and she headed for the door. Snape shot out his arm and caught hold of her shoulder, spinning her around to face him.

"Miss Granger, I cannot deny you are an extremely talented young woman. But answer me this. That last entry in your diary, when did you write it?"

Hermione, forgetting her fears and only thinking about the man who stood so close in front of her, the man who haunted her dreams replied "Today" in a whisper.

"I must admit, since reading your diary my perception of you has changed. But I don't think you have the full measure of me. Do you think me cold, unfeeling?" he said, moving closer toward her still.

Throwing caution to the wind Hermione gave her answer. "I think you are cruel, sarcastic, malicious and spiteful. But I also think you are courageous, brilliant, powerful and very attractive."

"Tell me, if you were given the chance, would you engage me, Hermione?" he asked seductively, her name sounding so natural coming from his lips, his face less than an inch from hers.

"God's yes!" Hermione muttered, before she leaned forward and kissed him fiercely. She whimpered against his lips as he wrapped his strong arms around her and pulled her closer. She wrapped her tongue around his, savouring the feel of his body pressing against her, and opening her mouth wider to give him more access. Snape groaned as he explored her mouth, running his hands over her body, trying to memorise every curve.

"Is this better than your fantasies Hermione?" Snape purred as he began to kiss her neck and collarbone.

Hermione could do nothing but moan at the sensation. She felt herself getting damp, and her belly felt as if it was on fire, desire flooding through her. Snapes palm brushed over her left breast, and she shuddered and held onto him for support.

"I want to feel you professor" Hermione sighed as his hands roamed over her lower back and her buttocks, giving them a slight squeeze.

"Call me Severus, Hermione," he moaned against her ear before hungrily claiming her mouth once more. She was overwhelmed with passion, and she started tearing through his layers of robes. Clothes were thrown aside as the two stroked and caressed each other.

Severus ran his fingers up the length of Hermione's now bare thigh, tracing the outline of the witch's lacy underwear. She gasped and pressed against his hardness, loving the feel of his strong hard flesh under her palms. Severus bent his head to her breast, swirling his tongue around her stiffened nipple, making Hermione squeal out in pleasure. He slid a finger under her panties and parted her, coating his digit in her warm juices.

"Have you done this before?" Severus asked, concern for the witch dampening his desire for a moment.

"No-one has made me feel like you do Severus" Hermione panted, pulling down his boxers and wrapping her hand around his hard pulsing shaft. Every vein was visible, the head mushroomed and red. Severus growled as Hermione stroked him, and unable to contain himself, he picked her up in his powerful arms and laid her down on the nearest bench.

"Is this what you want? What you've been dreaming of?" Severus breathed as he teased her with his length.

"Yes! Please, Severus, don't make me wait any longer" Hermione cried out, her hair a riot of curls and her eyes clouded with hunger for him.

Not losing a moment more, Severus placed himself at her entrance, and with a quick thrust they both were moaning with pleasure. Hermione had never felt so full; she could feel every inch of him nestled in her tight sleeve. Moving his hips slowly to let her adjust to him, Severus savoured the feeling of driving through her heat, and couldn't stop the guttural moan that escaped him.

Hermione was overcome with the desire; she was lost to the pale wizard who had finally made her fantasies reality. She tried to memorize every expression of bliss that flitted over his face, the way his lank hair swung round his face, every cry that fell on her ears. But all she could do was shriek out in pleasure as he drove himself deeper and harder into her lust filled body.

"More" Hermione begged, and Severus answered by ploughing into her faster and harder, burying himself in her heat. Perspiration glistened on their bodies as they moved each other to the same goal. Feeling her tighten around him, Severus rode her hungrily, bringing her to the release she had been crying out for. Hermione screamed out in ecstasy as she reached her climax, her body clutching around him. Severus gave one last thrust before falling over the edge with her, waves of pleasure pulsing through him.

Too exhausted and overwhelmed with emotions, Hermione clung to the dark wizard until she got her breath back. Severus held her tightly, tucking a stray curl or two behind her ear. Leaning up from the witch, he gazed at her hotly, and then gave her another scorching kiss.

"I wonder what the next entry in your diary is going to say, Hermione?" Severus smirked.

FIN


End file.
